It's my life

jeez.. relax ppl.. i was too busy to update. relax mon!here's my next entry!
wait before that, i have a few good times here ^^
e situation's changing, i can adapt to american stuff easier now tat i have a few ppl to talk to and i'm very involved in certain club programme. thank all e ppl, and to God.
Anyway, here's my entry:


EBTANAS. I got more nervous each time i hear that word. So did my friends. So did my mother. So did the teachers. Almost everybody feared that word, except, perhaps those who are not in any education schools, or those officials who set up excruciatingly difficult exams. EBTANAS can be compared to Singapore's PSLE system, or English and french bacauleratte (how do u spell it??) system, or perhaps american graduation examination in junior high school.

Everybody studied hard for EBTANAS. Everybody except the chinese. Why? Do you remember that Indonesia has extremely high corruption? Money is a no problem. Money is like a rain to chinese. We grow money everywhere. And there's such thing as bribery. Bribing is good way to show your kid's study status.

80% students of my class are chinese. All of them are rich. All of them cheated. Including me. We bribed. We bought the sample test paper from the officials. We memorized the answers. We wrote what we have remembered and we scored 99 out of 100.
Then there will be questions from the teachers:
How in the world can some of you who scored so low for the normal CA can jump so high up to 90th percentile in this exam? (lol)
Anybody who cheated raise your hand. (then there will be silent)
If u admit you cheated, I will give u candy (oh puh-lease!!)
I will not terminate you scores (yeah right)
Then there was a student who raised his hand (what an idiot)
He got 0 for his exams. He retained (serve you right)

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"Current news: a bomb in 'Gereja HKBP', a.k.a the biggest church in Medan. 32 chinese and 2 muslims killed. According to the newsreporter, there was a big fight outside the church between the christians and muslims....."
"Shut it off." My father told my mom, " there is no point hearing same news again and again. And this place is not safe for us anymore."
"Bur dear, what can we do?" My mom sounds worried.....
"We can go to Alan's house." Widjaja said. "Yeah... Alan's house. His house is big. He's a nice person. He will give us a temporary shelter."
"Let's go then. Don't just stay here."
I kept quiet throughout their conversation. I remained zipped up.

The current situation is terrible. There are riots everywhere. Riotings in front of President's parliament. Riots in every schools in Indonesia. Riots in churches. Riots...... i hate them.. they took everything away from me. It was late 1998. The president was busted for keeping in too much corruption. The people demanded him to step down. The corruption made the country suffers from economic downterm... a money crisis event in indonesia in 1999. The muslims blamed us as the chinese mutts who stole everything away from them. They said we made too much bribery. They said we are to bloody rich and they are not happy about it as we are only minorities.

Think of it... how can you be success when you idiot indonesians didn't even study when you were young? We paid more taxes than you people. And our money goes to the president's pocket as corruption. It's not our fault. When your mom asked you to go school, did you obey her? Did you REALLY go to school? Or did u merely played around, and ended up either retained in school or trenched out? Think of it. All you guys think are fun. Only fun, and nothing else. We chinese worked hard and we deserve wat we can manage to get.

"Thanks for letting us stay here temporarily Allen." My pop thanked him.
"No problem buddy. You are always welcome to stay here." He welcomed my dad and us back.
"How 'bout Jeffrey?" I asked my dad.
".... he'll be safe somewhere."
"...... is that a good answer?"
"No. But if you want to be selfish right now and you prefer his life than your life, go ahead. I won't forbid you to go out. But if you get killed it's not my fault."
"Widjaja! Stop talking like that to your son!" My mom scolded my dad.
I kept silent.
Both of them turned away from me and talked to Allen and his family instead. I don't like them. They don't have any children. I mean... they have but all of them moved to America or somewhere.. I have nobody to talk to. Now I'm thinking of my father as a selfish guy, not me.

There was a report on radio.
"And now, new reporting from Samanhudi...."
"That's our street!" My mom shouted. " Everybody keep quiet!"
"riots moved their path to Jln. Samanhudi, the street next to HKBP church. currently the mob is fighting fiercely using bamboo shoots, stones, crushed glasses, etc against the riot police. The mobs managed to raid some houses nearby..............."

(to be continued)

"This is ridiculous. What do those blastered muslims want from us!?" My dad was in such rage. "Don't tell me our house was raided."
"Calm down, Widjaja. There's no use of being angry over all these. What's gone is gone. U can't turn a porridge into rice. U can't do anything about it." My mom replied calmly, though i can still see her strain in the face. She retained that little pimple that was already there for 3 weeks. She was too stressed up to give attention to that little carbuncle distortion on her face. Why don't she ask me to pinch it out?
Then we heard over the radio. " The mobs are wiping out some houses and killing any chinese they see. Homes are plundered and the polices are trying to stop them by throwing tear gas and some of the riots fought back. The invulnerable shield seems to be obselete by now, as the size of the mobs increases....." the announcer of the radio paused for a moment. "Wait... new incoming report from Samanhudi. New re-inforcement from the police force has approached and they are carrying a few deadly weapons like bayonets and machine guns........"
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"Looks like we were lucky." My mom showed her slight happy face after a few weeks of agony. "Our house remained intact."
"Yeah... we were lucky... bless the Lord..." My dad looks glad and seemed to be filled with bliss. " We should go for a celebration!"
"No. don't forget that the muslims are still around. We should stay indoor these few days."
"But... " My dad sighed as he lost his fantasy of drinking his favourite beer, 'Bir Bintang'.
"No buts. Both of you, listen. And you too, Sari and Fatimah." She was referring to my dad, me, and my 2 maids. "I want all of you to help me. We are going to lock every single door here and block and windows to prevent te outsiders from looking inside. We are only leaving a small hole to peek outside. Widjaja, Andy, both of you go for the doors. Fatimah and Sari, go for the windows."
"And you!?" All of us exclaimed.
"I wash the dish"

We were rather lucky, as the riots didn't manage to reach inside our neighbourhood while weare gone. Only about 12- 16 houses remained standing in this area after the big mobs. There were some bodies lying on the road, mostly the bodies of the killed protesters. The police force is securing this area and cleaning up the street. Just for safety, we have to do what mom said.
The maids did mention that one of the mob managed to climb in our house through the backgate( they were inside the house. They did not come with us to Mr. Allen's house). Fatimah took a broomstick and hit his hand, and he dropped. He ran away. That was rather freaky all right.......

4 days later

"Looks like it's safe now. I think we can start taking out our wooden board from the door." My mom telling us all. "Anyway the police force has stationed their units here... We should be safe. And furthermore, we are running out of food supply."
"Agreed" My dad said.
"Agreed" My maids replied.
"Agreed." I replied fatiguely.
We felt terrible after locking ourselves inside our house for 4 days. It's miserable i tell you. We must rely on our lamp all the time, and we can't even make loud noise. We have to stay and sit in the room, staring at the wall and ceiling for 16 hours a day. What agony....

The next day

"Andy, do you want to go abroad and study, just like your sister and brother?" My mom asked me.
I shook my head. "Yes."
"Good, it will be much better for you in Singapore. This place is no more safe for you. You will have to leave."
"How bout you, mom?"
"We will stay here."
"But i can't live without you."
"Yes you can. You are already 12. You are going to be 13 soon, and I trust your siblings can take care of you even if you are unable to."
I remained silent. I juz walked away and went into the living room.

That night I overheard my parents' conversation.
"We can't afford to let him stay here." That sounds like my mom.
"Yeah sure, but you can't force a kid to go somewhere when he doesn't want to."
"Do you prefer to let him decide or die here?"
"Of course I don't want him to die. I love him."
"Then we will have to force him to go overboard! We have no choice!"
"Is Jeffrey coming with him overboard?"
"Dear, don't forget, he and his family were nowhere to be found."
"I forgot about that...."
" You better don't tell him anything about Jeffrey. It's gonna make things worse."
"I understand."
I opened my eyes wide while lying on the bed when I heard what hapened to Jeffery. I couldn't believe what i've just heared. I couldn't belive that he and his family disappeared.... My buddy, lost, just like that. God please, don't let him die. Protect him..... I already knew him for 9 years, and please don't take him away from me. He's the only friend i can rely on. We played together. We look at girls together. We swear together. We studied together. We ran together. And if he were to die, we'll die together.
I don't know what makes me say that at that night. I was just shocked after hearing myself saying that... and I'm just scared of death. I closed my eyes. I couldn't sleep that night.